ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize