YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
