We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
