We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
