I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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