I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
