Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
