I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
