I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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