im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
