There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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