I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
