we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
