they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
