U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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