Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
