smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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