I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
