Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
