R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
