Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Mom said you looked used
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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