don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
