Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize