Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you didnt know i had herpes?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize