Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize