Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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