you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize