Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
