What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
