Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
