Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
