I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
