Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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