playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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