Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
