I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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