I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We have so much sex to catch up on
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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