too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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