$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
