this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
