ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
And then he peed in my hair
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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