Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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