erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
