On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
