i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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