Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
