So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
