i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize