i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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