she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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