dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is wine microwaveable?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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