so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
