im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want nice things and good sex
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
