Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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