I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
