my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My dick has a subreddit
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
