So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
