What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
