i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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